You curly bastard.
What do you mean, you lost all our money at the races?
Y-You've got it all wrong!
I didn't expect Justaway to show up there—
What about our pay?!
Hold it!
Freeze!
You're chilling out with a cup of tea and watching L4YOU during a stakeout?
Just what part of your body are you trying to keep awake?
Y-You've got it all wrong, Vice Chief!
Today's report is seriously amazing!
They're featuring four foods that can change your intestinal health—
Atone for your lack of discipline by committing suicide!
Hold it right there!
Quit running!
Damn, where'd he go?!
Move it! You're in my way!
You move it! I'm on duty here!
Want me to cut you down?!
Just move already!
Lake Toya
Oedo Hospital
I don't see anything...
...wrong with you.
We performed a full-body checkup,
Oedo Hospital's Request: Please watch this program in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV.
but there was nothing out of the ordinary.
It's a miracle.
However, you may have hit your head, causing temporary memory loss...
...so let me check, just in case.
Please state your...
...name and occupation, please.
Sakata Gintoki. I run an Odd Jobs business.
Hijikata Toshiro. Vice chief of the Shinsengumi.
Oh, right.
Looks like we mixed up your file with the other patient in the same accident.
I'm extremely sorry.
It was a mistake on our end.
Yeah, you seem to be perfectly fine.
Well, let's see how things go.
Take care.
What a waste of time. Curse that moron.
Man, my head is killing me.
Am I really gonna be okay?
Set Meals
Welcome!
The usual, lady.
Sure thing.
One Hijikata Special!
Hey, lady.
Who ordered this dog food?
Huh? But you said the usual...
By "usual," I obviously meant the Uji Gintoki bowl!
You know, with a big helping of sweet azuki beans on steamed rice.
By any chance...
Do you mean this cat food here?
That's right.
Is this dog food yours, by any chance?
Come on, lady. Gimme a break.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I see it's the other way around today,
Hijikata-san,
Gin-san.
You switched your orders, huh?
Set Meals
We switched?! We switched?!
I'm the Mayo Guy, and He's the Sweet Tooth
Hey.
Give me my cigarettes, for starters.
They're in the chest pocket.
You really think the protagonist of an anime
that airs in the evening is allowed to smoke?
Have some self-awareness, dumbass.
That aside, hand over my Ahollo chocolate.
My sugar's running low.
It's in the breast pocket.
If the Shinsengumi vice chief were to eat junk like that,
he'd have to commit suicide for lack of discipline.
So watch it, scumbag.
Also... Also...
Gimme back my body! Gimme back my body!
Sakata Gintoki inside
Hijikata Toshiro inside
Should a cop really be trespassing in people's bodies?!
You're the one who snuck into my body!
I caught you red-handed!
Let's see you try and arrest me! You're nothing but a bum right now!
You're a powerless piece of human waste! Serves you right!
You're the human waste, you damn thief!
Cops are just a bunch of incompetents who do nothing but gobble up taxpayer money!
You can't do shit right now!
Let's stop this.
I feel like all my punches are coming back to bite me.
Yeah...
I had a dream.
Back then,
after we were hit by the truck, I saw our bodies laid out below.
Wait, are you saying...
I had a bad feeling.
Something told me that if I didn't get back in my body immediately,
I'd never be able to get back.
That's when I noticed this weird fur ball come flying towards me from behind.
Wait, was that me?
Why did I have fur?!
I hit that fur ball
and went in the wrong direction,
into your body.
The collision split the fur ball in two.
One half got sucked into my body,
and the other into the asshole of a cat's corpse.
What's that supposed to mean?!
Is the fur ball okay?!
Long story short,
while our bodies miraculously survived being hit by a dump truck,
our egos popped out and switched bodies.
Or, well, that's the dream I had.
Oh, a dream, huh?
Then if we wake up, this nightmare will end, right?
Wait!
Shut it!
The only way to get back to our own bodies
is to have another near-death experience and
cough up our egos on the asphalt again!
Are you stupid?!
If you drop me from this high up, you'll no longer have a home to go back to!
Guess I'll have to turn your home into a mince cutlet place, then.
Calm down!
Can you guarantee our egos will come out if we have another near-death experience?!
You might die for real this time, you know!
Until we find a surefire method to go back to normal, don't do anything stupid!
Does a surefire method even exist?
Beats me.
But nobody will believe such a ridiculous story, either.
We'll have to look for it ourselves.
You've gotta be kidding me!
What am I supposed to do in this nicotine-addled body until then?
Live with it. We don't have a choice.
I'll live as Sakata Gintoki of Odd Jobs,
and you live as the Shinsengumi vice chief, Hijikata Toshiro.
Screw you! How—
Found you. Found you.
Just how far do you plan on running?!
You'll pay us our wages today, once and for all!
H-Hang on!
What do you mean, wages?
Hey! What are they talking about?!
Good grief. You're not paying them on time?
Are there no depths to which you won't stoop?
While you're at it, brats, wring his overdue rent out of him, as well.
Any shady businesses that make their employees suffer will have me,
Shinsengumi vice chief Hijikata Toshiro, to answer to.
What are you suddenly acting like Hijikata-san for?!
You're the shady businessman here!
Time out! Your quack boss is over there!
Talk about a close shave!
I never thought I'd be saved by this body!
Like he said,
maybe we should stay this way for a while—
Sorry about that, Hijikata-san.
I saw you sneaking into this building,
so I charged in, thinking that maybe you'd found some Joi Rebels.
I'm sorry, really.
But usually, you would've evaded that.
Not on your game today, huh?
Th-That's right!
Whether I'm there or here,
it's all the same!
Special Police Shinsengumi
Hijikata-san's still not here.
He's already twenty minutes late.
Isn't this bad?
The Shinsengumi Code says,
"No matter what the reason, anybody who's late to the morning assembly
must commit suicide due to lack of discipline."
That rule was created by none other than the vice chief himself.
Hey, Tetsu.
Go check on Toshi.
R-Right away!
Good morning!
As if those guys would ever be up this early.
This is bad, Vice Chief!
The morning assembly's already—
Gin-san, are you up—
You bastard...
What time do you think it is?
It's only 8:30. It's still sleepy time, damn it!
It's already 8:35:54.
The battle's already started, damn it!
Disembowel yourself.
Atone for your lack of discipline by committing suicide!
Dismissed.
Time to go back to sleep.
I was hoping everything would be back to normal when I woke up,
but of course that didn't happen.
This is the worst.
Why do I have to look at this vulgar face first thing in the morning?
What's with this hairdo?
I keep trying to set it, but the bangs keep reverting to being V-shaped.
How annoying. This guy's definitely gonna be a V-shaped baldy.
This face is too slack.
Damn!
When I relax the muscles, the gap between my eye and brow grows.
His weak spirit has seeped all the way to the roots of his hair.
He'll have to be washed anew, all the way to the pores of his skin.
Forget it. This is a pain.
I'm just gonna do things my way.
Hey, Sogo.
Think he ate something bad?
Well, he's been eating something bad for his brain cells every day.
I can't believe he'd break the Shinsengumi Code.
He managed to fool the men, but something's definitely off about him.
He probably just overslept.
Still, has he always had such a slack-looking face?
Oh, Vice Chief!
Good morning!
Ow, my ears. Quit being so loud early in the morning.
What are you guys, voice-acting students at the Sasaki Animation Academy?
Squads five through seven are ready!
Ready for what? Radio calisthenics?
Sorry, but I don't have a stamp.
No, not that.
Ready to sortie.
We're on patrol duty today,
so please give us the usual, Hijikata-san.
What do you mean, the usual?
Today's Hijikata-san is a bit different than usual.
Spell it out.
I mean, recite the Shinsengumi Code to keep the men on their toes.
Oh, right.
You louts!
You haven't forgotten the Shinsengumi's ironclad rules, right?
Article 1 of the code!
Er, huh?
"Anybody who criticizes someone who's forgotten the Shinsengumi Code must
commit suicide due to lack of discipline!"
You're the one who forgot it!
Excuse me, Vice Chief...
I'm not sure Article 1 goes like that.
Okay, you commit suicide.
W-Wait a second, Vice Chief! I've never even heard of such a code!
Oh, sorry. It was Article 434.
We don't have 434 articles in our code!
Article 1: "Anybody who says we don't have 434 articles
must commit suicide."
Why are you touching on Article 434 in the very first one?!
Shut up. The Shinsengumi Code changed yesterday.
First I've heard of that.
What's that all about?
Shinsengumi Code, Article 2:
"Anybody who sweats the small stuff must commit suicide!"
He shut them up!
He shot them down with a contrived move!
How long will this
Hijikata-san of yours have to hold your hands until you're satisfied?
The Shinsengumi Code? How am I supposed to kno—
I shouldn't have to recite it. It should be ingrained in your bodies.
The ironclad rules to keep you acting like proper samurai?
If you've got the time to ask others for such crap,
look within your hearts.
Why don't you guys find your own code and follow that?
Quit bothering Hijikata-san for every little thing.
Vice Chief...
Y-You mean you're abolishing the Shinsengumi Code?
Take it as you will.
For the time being, I'm going to follow my own Shinsengumi Code,
and go back to sleep a third time.
W-Wait, Toshi!
Odd Jobs Gin-chan
Odd Jobs Code 1: Anybody who's late must commit suicide. 2: Anybody who doesn't pay rent on time must commit suicide. 3: Anybody who doesn't pay salaries on time must commit suicide.
Uh, Gin-san...
What is this, exactly?
The Odd Jobs Code.
Ironclad rules to whip you slackers into shape.
The next time you violate them, you'll have to commit suicide on the spot.
4: Anybody who hogs payment money and gambles with it must commit suicide. 5: Actually, anybody with naturally curly hair must commit suicide. 6: Anybody who has stinky feet must commit suicide.
But this is pretty much all about you, Gin-chan.
Who are you calling Gin-chan? That's President to you.
The person I was until yesterday
got sucked into a cat's asshole and died.
Don't think you can lead a depraved lifestyle anymore, you brats.
Uh, you were the most depraved one here.
Anyway, as much as I hate to do this,
Salary Salary
I'll give you these.
It's your overdue pay.
If you perform well,
I'll even give you a bonus.
Also...
Rent
Where do I pay rent?
You monster!
Where'd you get this money?!
The bank? The convenience store?
The human trust?!
I don't remember raising you to be a monster that pays salaries!
We've got trouble, Otose-san!
Gin-san...
Gin-san says he wants to pay our salaries and rent!
Say what?!
Hurry up and inform everyone in town!
A meteorite's going to fall on us!
I seriously want out of this body right now!
See? It's definitely my passbook.
Open your eyes wide and take a good look.
Very well!
Your wish is our command, President.
Talk about a sudden change!
The next time you doubt me, you guys will have to commit suicide!
Yes, sir!
Listen up. If we want to make business flourish,
our organization has to stop being disjointed and act as one.
And that is why we have the Odd Jobs Code.
Individuals need the resolve to harshly discipline themselves for the group's sake.
Then, and only then, will an organization be united
and become capable of displaying its full capabilities.
To that end, we'll first...
How are things going over there?
Not making any progress at all.
I'm making my men ask around all over town,
but nobody's ever heard of egos switching bodies before.
Shinsengumi
What are you doing, Toshi?!
Let's go have a bloodbath with the Joi Rebels already!
Oh, Gorilla.
I'll be right there.
And how are things on your end?
I made my men look into it as well,
but ended up with similar results.
What do you fiends think you're doing in public?
As the captain of Odd Jobs Squad Two,
I, Shimura Shinpachi, shall adhere to the Odd Jobs Code
Slay
and slay evil immediately.
Evil
Immediately
Hold up, four-eyes. Let them go.
They're not bad guys.
I see.
Neither of us made any progress, huh?
Like hell!
What is that? Some kind of band of bandits?!
They don't look like the long arm of the law at all!
More like the crooks that get caught by it!
And what are you doing, bringing ripoffs into my house?!
What does he mean, "slay evil immediately"?
Stop him now! Stop him before he uses the Gatotsu!
Are you stupid?!
I instilled some order in your unruly mob! Be grateful!
You should be grateful to the vice chief who gave your
organization its freedom back!
That's enough.
Lay one finger on Toshi-san, and I'll make you pay, boss.
Why the hell are you on his side?!
Right back at you.
If your sword moves even a little,
I'll slay Toshi immediately.
Hey! Don't use the Gatotsu!
Don't use the Zero Stance!
Interesting.
Why don't we see which is faster, your Gatotsu Ogino Stance,
or my Nine-Headed Dragon Trash?
I couldn't ask for more.
Nobody asked for this! You're just asking for a beating!
Wait! Wait! Stop!
Eight One Two Seven Nine Three Six Five Four
Calm down!
Slay
Evil
Immediately
...sama.
...oki-sama.
Hang in there, Gintoki-sama.
Oh, it's you, Tama.
Feels like it's been ages since anyone called me that...
Hey...
Tama! How'd you know?!
Rest assured.
Your bodies can go back to normal.
Doll House
So this is Ginnoji,
and that's the demonic vice chief, huh?
Guess I was right to have Tama look for you guys after I heard about the accident.
Listen well.
The truck that ran you over
was transporting a certain machine that was developed in secret.
A terrifying machine that could affect humanity and even universal causation!
Wh-What are you talking about?
Just what happened to us?
This is just a guess,
but the machine must have malfunctioned due to the impact,
resulting in the tragedy that befell you two.
That's right.
Fully Automatic Egg-on-Rice Maker
It was caused by this Fully Automatic Egg-on-Rice Maker!
It's nothing but junk!
What the hell is a Fully Automatic Egg-on-Rice Maker?!
Those with a discerning eye can tell.
It's the pinnacle of science, the result of my years of research, realized at last!
Wait, you built it?!
If you put an egg in this transfer device here,
it'll separate the yolk from the white and extract it.
And if you put soy sauce in the other transfer device,
it'll extract just the perfect amount.
And by warping those onto the steamed rice in the center,
it can help anybody make the perfect egg-on-rice easily!
It's the machine of dreams!
That wasn't easy at all!
Just how contrived a contraption did you build to make egg-on-rice?!
What kind of malfunction would it take
for this egg-on-rice maker to switch people's egos?!
That's elementary.
After the accident, the transfer devices fell out of the truck and malfunctioned,
extracting your egos instead of yolks,
and instead of putting them on steamed rice,
put them in each other's smashed bodies.
It made, not egg-on-rice,
Egg-on-Rice
Ego-in-the-Wrong-Device
but ego-in-the-wrong-device.
That wasn't funny, you shitty geezer!
To Be Continued
Preview
All right, here's the next episode preview.
Hold it! You're me right now, so shouldn't I be doing this instead?
I may be you right now, but it's still me on the inside,
so it's fine if I do it, you damn curly.
You're the damn curly!
I'm a Failure as a Leader, and He's Also a Failure as a Leader
Wait, I am? Huh?
Damn, the title went up already!
N-Next episode: "I'm a Failure as a Leader—"
Since their switched egos have made a mess of the preview,
we will handle it instead.
Next episode: "I'm a Failure as a Leader,
and He's Also a Failure as a Leader."